你在结婚礼物上花了足够的钱吗？

I’ll never forget the year I had twelve weddings at attend—all within a span of five months. And it wasn’t just weddings I attended that year: I traveled to far-flung destinations for bachelorette parties and spent entire Sunday afternoons socializing at bridal showers near and far.

这不仅仅是一个时间的承诺 - 这是一个财务承诺。我必须花费大约5,000美元的地方。我不会告诉你我生命那天有多等，但让我们只是说它并没有足够舒服地剥离那种钱，无论我多么爱我的朋友。

Still, I made it work, because I truly did want to celebrate my friends and give them something to express my congratulations. But, to this day, every time I write a check or add a registry item to my cart, I wonder: Is this what everyone else spends on wedding gifts? Am I going above and beyond, or do I look cheap? Below, at long last, you'll find the concrete answer to how much money you should be spending on wedding gifts, from the engagement party to the bridal shower.

我应该买订婚礼物吗？

“在大多数情况下，在大多数情况下，不需要或预期的订婚礼品，”谢丽尔·塞德尔，礼仪专家和创始人说注册表. But if you做希望带一份礼物，一瓶香槟或漂亮的葡萄酒是锦标赛，西雅图礼仪教练和派对策划师表示锦标赛的好方法。

“如果这对夫妇不喝酒，我推荐30美元到50美元的礼物，反映了情侣的利益，”她说。你可以检查一下Groupon.为了当地的活动和景点，或者选择你知道他们都会欣赏的礼物。

我应该把礼物带到学士学位（ette）派对吗？

Bachelorette parties should not be gift-giving occasions, says Seidel. “It is customary for the guests to pay for themselves as well as split the cost for the bride, so that is already a gift to the bride.”

So what do you do if the hostess asks you to bring a little something extra for an activity like a lingerie shower? “It’s understandable that the host of the bachelorette party will want to plan fun activities, but they should remember that those closest to the bride will already be invited the wedding, as well as any bridal shower,” says Seidel. “Putting the obligation of an additional gift on the bride’s friends is too much of a burden for most attendees.”

我在新娘淋浴时应该花多少钱？

Yes, you should bring a gift to the bridal shower: they're often a big part of the festivities and events. Luckily, bridal shower gifts are usually less expensive than the wedding gift, but Porter still recommends spending between $50 to $100 if your budget allows it.

If not, Seidel recommends determining a cumulative budget for the bridal shower and the wedding, then divide it accordingly, spending about 40 percent of that amount on the shower gift and 60 percent on the wedding gift.

Finally, how much money should I spend on a wedding gift?

“'我应该在结婚礼物上花多少钱？is the most often asked gift-giving question,” says Seidel. “Unfortunately, there isn’t one simple answer.”

你不应该做的一件事吗？Seidel说，购买礼物的成本应该根据您的晚餐的成本来基于您的晚餐的成本。“这根本不是真的，可以对客人造成相当大的焦虑。你没有向婚礼付款！你被邀请，因为这对夫妇（或他们的父母）希望你和他们一起庆祝。“

Beyond that, the rule is vague, she says: The amount you spend on a wedding gift is determined by what you can afford and your relationship to the couple getting married.

But since most people (me included!) are looking for a solid number, Seidel offers the following figures as a guideline:

• For a co-worker or acquaintance: $50 to $100
• 对于朋友或亲戚：75美元至150美元
• 亲密的朋友或亲戚: $150 to $250
• And if you’re a young person with limited budget: $50 to $75 is reasonable

If, say, your best friend is getting married and you simply can’t afford to shell out for a gift, “the thoughtfulness in choosing the gift is more important than the dollar amount,” says coach, speaker, and author,Pat Durham.

“如果这对夫妇最喜欢的阿姨处于固定的收入，那么她就会牺牲一份与六个数字的人的捐赠相同的美元金额。”而不是超越你的手段，选择一种感伤的东西，就像个性化眼镜or a对夫妻婚礼邀请的特殊复制.

If you simply cannot afford to attend the wedding or are feeling financial pressure, it is “absolutely appropriate to simply send a card of support and congratulations,” says Porter. “You do not need to send a gift, but you must acknowledge the invitation to share in this special event by sending a card.”

我应该购买婚礼注册机构吗？

Whether you give a physical or monetary gift of that value is up to you. If you want to give a gift, plan to shop the registry, says Porter. A newly married couple is often setting up a home and will be grateful for the support.

“Get to the registry early, though, and select a gift that will enable the couple to think of you each time they use it, such as anespresso makeror a手提箱，“礼仪专家说Mister Manners，托马斯P. Farley。否则，您冒着呈现不匹配礼物的风险。

“等到最后一分钟，当其他客人已经突袭时，注册表将迫使您从剩菜中选择。送刮刀，三个毛巾和枕套会看起来。“如果注册表以超出您手段的方式挑选或充满物品，则无法登记名。选择这个个性化的纪念品或货币礼物。

A good rule of thumb: “If gifting money, give cash, not a check, as it’s easier to manage and can also be pocketed for the honeymoon!” And don’t forget to include a card with a personal message, adds Farley.